


I don't want another shotgun rider beside me(third person)

by clexatrashforlife19



Series: I'm amazed by you [2]
Category: The 100
Genre: F/F, Lacrosse, agender!lex, sassy lex, trans!Clarke, trans!Lexa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexatrashforlife19/pseuds/clexatrashforlife19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly the same as the original but in third person for those who don't like to read first person aka Moog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't want another shotgun rider beside me(third person)

“I don’t care! You don’t have to fucking live in this body; you will never understand what it’s like to wake up every morning and hate yourself!” Lex’s body is tense; the tightening in their chest threatens to constrict their heart and lungs, cutting off the oxygen to their brain. The impending panic attack encroaching quickly on them as they struggle to compose themself. 

“I’m sorry. I wish I could have known when you were growing up, I would’ve never made you grow up like that.” They hear her whisper. 

“Would you have, mom? Would you really? Because I think you would’ve done exactly what you’re doing now. Pretend that this is just a phase, ignore the fact that I grew up hiding behind a fake smile because how can the “perfect child” tell their parents that they aren’t their little girl? This is who I am and I need to know if you’ll be able to accept this once and for all. Or else I’m going to need to move out. I can’t continue to stay here and suffer through dad blatantly ignoring my preferred pronouns and my preference of women.” A slow ragged breath is sucked into their burning lungs. They scream at the continuous crushing sensation as their fist clench, their blunt finger nails digging into their palms. 

“Alexandria-“

“DO NOT, call me that. I told you, I go by Lex now. I’m giving you one week to decide.” They turn their back to her, to their own mother, to the woman who raised them. They can practically hear her heart shatter as they close themselves off from her. 

“If that is what you wish, I’ll speak to your father. But we love you, Ale- Lex. We really do.” With that she leaves their room, softly closing the door behind her. 

Grabbing their lacrosse stick and bag, they hop out of window. Reaching down they tug at the edge of their binder so they can pull the t-shirt off and throw it in the back with the bag. Quickly climbing into the driver seat of their truck, they let the rumble of the diesel engine fuel the fire within them, the adrenaline that courses through their veins every time they head for the practice fields. With a hair tie they pull their wild curls into a bun, wayfarers slid over their eyes and a grey snapback on their head before rolling down the windows and letting their phone switch over to the speakers. As the playlist ends, they switch to their country one even though they’re about to pull up to the field. 

Roll, won't you come roll with me slow, fast, full speed  
Girl wherever sweet time takes us  
Hang, with me down this old road  
Only god knows where we'll go

That’s when they see her. Her blonde hair in a tight french braid; she is dressed head to literal toe in Maryland University gear. From the sports bra, to lacrosse jersey with the Natty Boh guy as the logo wearing a snapback backwards with “Natty Broh’s” underneath it, her lacrosse shorts with matching spandex, the tall socks and matching cleats. She’s a Maryland lacrosse frat boy. 

As they pull up to the field, they shut off the truck before hopping out to grab their gear. She stops her drills as they make my way over to her. They take in her exquisite blue eyes, the beauty mark on the left side of her upper lip and her curvy but toned stomach exposed by the jersey. They take notice of her MDU women’s lacrosse team duffle bag on the ground by the small water cooler. 

“Uh hi?” She twirls her stick, letting the ball fall out of the pocket. As she goes to catch it, they reach out with my own and scoop it up. Their mouth instinctively twitches into a small smirk as she raises an eyebrow at them.

“You’re on my field.” They snark. 

“I don’t see your name on it.” Her hand goes to her hip as she watches them intently. 

“Actually,” Jogging over to the goal, with a swift flick of their stick, they send the ball soaring into the net. Leaning up against it they point to the initials “L.W.” etched into the pole. “Technically, my name is on it.” 

She scoops up the ball, turning her back to them before sinking a behind the back shot. So you wanna play it like that, huh?” 

“How about a scrimmage?” They question, letting their eyes rake over her body. She’s gorgeous. The way she holds herself screams confidence but they recognize the way she subtly crosses her arms across her chest, almost as if she’s concealing, burying her insecurities. It’s all a front, one they recognize from years of practice. 

“Fine. But each goal equals a question. Deal?” Blue meet green and they feel their walls dissolve into mush as they take in her playful grin. 

“Deal. Which goal do you want?” She points to the far end of the field. 

“That one.” Nodding, they go to set their phone down on their bag and see her take off down the field before sinking the shot.

“That’s one point for me.” She cheekily grins. 

“That’s not fair! I wasn’t ready!” Yelling, they sprint to where she stands, the ball still in the goal.

“I never said I played fair, Woods.” 

“How do you know my last name?” 

“I’ve gone to school with you for years and we play for UMD.”

“No, there’s no way. I would’ve recognized you before now, I mean your eyes are unforgettable.” Shit.

“Unforgettable, huh?” A smug look crosses her face before stepping into my space. “Let’s go, Woods. I wanna dominate your ass on this field.” She jogs out to mid field, waiting on them to grab the ball.

“You can dominate my ass in bed too.” They cough out, thanking the gods she’s far enough away not to hear the remark. With a swift scoop, they cradle the ball in the pocket as they dash down the field towards their own goal. Side-stepping around the blonde, they take my chance at a long shot. They hear her breath hitch as the ball sinks into the goal. 

“Show off.” She scoffs, bumping their shoulder as she passes them to retrieve the ball.

“You’re just upset that we’re now tied. That’s a question each.” They remark.

“We’ll sit and answer them but the first person to ten wins.” 

“Deal. Let’s play…”

“What?”

“I don’t know your name.”

“Clarke. Call me Griffin.” 

“Pleasure, Griffin.”

“Anytime, Woods.”

“Do you want some music to play to?” They question, jerking their head slightly towards the truck. A nod of confirmation has them climbing back into their truck to turn the music on. They search through their Spotify playlists trying to find the perfect song as their eyes land on it. 

Take off those heels,  
lay on my bed  
whisper dirty secrets while I’m pullin’ on your hair  
poison in our veins but we don’t even care.

Her lips curve up in a smirk as her brain registers what song this is. Invading her space, they press up behind her. 

“Let’s do this, Griffin.” She takes a deep breath before pushing off of them. 

“Watch yourself, Woods. Don’t need you gettin’ any ideas.” 

“Yeah, okay. Play the damn game.” The smirk is wiped from their face as Clarke brushes past them. They chase after her, refraining from checking since neither have gear on. She abruptly stops, spinning on her heel as she goes behind their back. They twist trying to follow her move but she already made the shot. Her blonde hair shines in the setting sun, her eyes shining as bright as her smile. 

“You’re holding out on me, love. I’ve watched you play; you’re the team captain of the mens lacrosse team for a reason. Lex Woods, the only person to take every team they’ve played on to the championship of that division. Come on, don’t let me off so easy.” 

“Fine, but don’t cry when you lose.” 

Stepping up their game, they play more aggressive. The sun has long since set and they are battling in the light rain and stream of light from the truck’s headlights. They have 22 points versus her 21. She challenges them with every step. Her moves are quick and calculated whereas they’re a step behind her. They’re used to brute force when they’re lagging behind an opponent but with her they’re afraid to check her. Clarke can hold her own but they’d feel horrible for leaving a bruise on that beautiful body. 

They are cradling the ball as they sprint to the other end of the field after knocking the ball from her stick. In an attempt to copy her earlier back peddle move; they try to stop and spin but with the rain, the grass is muddy and slick. Their feet slide out from underneath them. They don’t have time to register Clarke’s proximity until she’s slamming into them, their chests meeting with enough force to knock the air from their lungs. Landing on their back with the blonde sandwiching them to the wet earth, they groan from the force of the hit. She gasps for breath, trying to hold herself above them as not to cause further damage. 

After catching their breath she tries to get up but the rain is falling harder and her foot slips, her body falling onto theirs once again. They cough, the pressure from their binder is starting to cause discomfort the longer they lay here. Trying one more time she shifts her chest off of theirs which causes her lower body to press into them. They gasp, grabbing her torso to keep her from moving.

“What are you-” She tries to ask but they shush her. 

“Don’t move, please.” They tell her, keeping her body as still as possible. How do they explain to this insanely beautiful woman who just happens to be on top of them that her bulge is pressing into their packer that is pressing into their own core? 

“Lex, can you let go of me please?” She asks as she wiggles out of their grip. They clench their jaw, biting down roughly on their lip to hold in the moan. Her eyes widen as she steps back from them.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you without making it awkward…” They croak out, scrambling to their feet.

“You can’t tell anyone about this. Please?” Her blue eyes beg them. 

“I won’t tell anyone but you don’t have to be ashamed, Clarke. You were born that way and that’s okay. To be honest with you, I can kind of understand what it feels like. I’m agender but I wish I was born with…that extra appendage. Instead, I’m stuck wearing this,” They grab their packer through their shorts. “S’not too bad but can be kinda uncomfortable sometimes. My ex girlfriend actually left me because I wanted one.” Quickly closing their mouth,they look away from the piercing blue stare. 

She’s quiet for a bit. They stand there in the rain, looking anywhere but the other. The cool air swirls around them; it’s early March. Spring is just beginning. A new cycle of life has begun and with it, a spark. A small flickering light burning low but as time will pass, the flame will grow. The appreciation, respect and love will become a tamed fire. It warms on a damp cold night, enlightens the world in which we will share. Souls entangled in such a way that no one can deny that it’s fate. But that will come in time; for now it’s blue vs green. In sync breaths paired with beating hearts that seem to pound to the same drum. Our eyes meet. One step forward. She blinks. Another step. Her breath catches in her throat. Her mind is fighting her heart. Her soul is dragging both as they kick and scream at the other to make a decision. Sometime you must think with both in order to be happy. Their hands comes up to cup her cheek; instinctively her face presses against their palm. 

“How do you fight something that you know will lead to your own destruction when everything in you tells you to take the chance anyways?” Her voice is only a whisper. She’s hesitant, afraid of the consequences that could come from giving into what her hearts wants despite what her head argues. 

“Sometimes we have to make choices that our head or heart won’t always agree with. They may be bad but there is always a possibility of them being a good thing for us. I think that it’s worth it. You’re worth my destruction.” Blue meet green, inches apart. The intensity of her stare burrows into them. 

“And when everything is shattered, broken and burned where will you turn? When I’ve all but destroyed you completely, who will you be then? What will you do when there is nothing left but the shell of the person you used to be? You are worth so much more than what I can give you. You’re the star player for the team. You’re one of the most intelligent people in school. I could never compare to what you deserve.” 

“Clarke, maybe what I deserve is someone who sees me for me. Someone who I let in to see past the rough and tough exterior. The one that I come to when I fight with my parents over my transition. The soul of someone who can warm my heart when I feel it grow cold after a long dark trudge through the trench that’s called depression. Maybe our lives are meant for more than just surviving everyday on this earth, wandering aimlessly, searching for something more than what we were handed.”

“Maybe I’m tired of hiding my attraction for you. The flutter in my stomach whenever you flash that brilliant smile when your team scores. Maybe I want to bring my dreams to a reality. Slam you up against a wall and kiss those plump lips until they are swollen and your head spins from the lack of oxygen. Maybe we deserve better than that. Maybe we deserve to feel whatever pull we have for one another. But you don’t know me and I don’t know you. I don’t know where you’re from or where you want to go. I want to see your eyes light up as you ramble on about your dreams. I want to know who you are behind this warrior exterior. I know that this attraction for you could be so much more than just purely lust. You have a beautiful mind and breath taking soul. I never thought that I’d be here with you, the Lex Woods, goofing off and actually enjoying the day without worrying about what realities I’ll face when I return home to the cold, empty house. But none of that can take away the joy I feel inside as I stand here in the rain with you.”

“I knew the moment I saw you on this field that there was something special about you. The fire within you burns brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. It draws me like moths to a flame. I’ve been going over and over in my head how I could’ve never met you before but we have. We’ve known each other our entire lives and yet our lives never intersected. I was never assigned as your lab partner, we were never on the same team in gym class, we were kept deliberately together but separated. Maybe this is life’s cruel way of telling us this was the moment we are supposed to come together.” Lacing our fingers together, they pull her flush against their chest. They revel in the feeling of her close to them. 

“It’s getting late.” She speaks up a minute later. “I better get home, shower and get out of these wet clothes.” They nod, letting her pull away from the embrace. They help her gather the remaining balls and their sticks, throwing them in the bed of the truck before helping her in. After using a towel to dry off, Clarke hooks her phone up to the bluetooth before selecting a song. 

 

Roll, won’t you come roll with me slow, fast, full speed  
Girl wherever sweet time takes us  
Hang, with me down this old road  
Only god knows where we’ll go  
Don’t matter long as I’ve got your love

They feel her scoot over to the middle of the bench. She curls her body under their arm, her head on their shoulder.

I don’t ever want to wake up  
Lookin’ into someone else’s eyes  
Another voice calling me baby  
On the other end of the phone

“This is my favorite song, ya know? I love how it’s a confession of their love and almost like soulmates. No one else could make something this simple as driving feel this amazing.” She looks up at them as she speaks, her eyes twinkling in the dim light of the cab.

“I love this song too. I was listening to it when I pulled up to the field actually. When I saw you.” They look down at her briefly before returning their eyes to the road. “I knew at that moment that there was gonna be something special about you.” She laughs quietly, pressing closer into them as they tune back into the song.

Lay your head down on my shoulder  
You can fall asleep I’ll let you  
Dream, life ain’t nothing but a dream, don’t wanna be  
Cruisin’ through this dream without you

As the chorus kicks back in, she directs them to turn left into her driveway. The house in their windshield is huge. They knew their parents were well off because of their jobs but this had to be a doctor’s home. There was no other explanation for it.

“My mom’s a surgeon and my dad was an engineer.” She explains. They catch the past tense statement but decide that right now wasn’t the time to get into a subject as sensitive as that. As they stand at her front door, gear laying in the foyer and porch light on, they take in the closeness. The shimmering blue of her eyes, the way her blonde hair falls in just the right way. She’s beautiful. Stunning. Breath taking. Every word you could ever think of to describe her would never compare. 

“I should probably head home too; my mom will be worried if I’m not home soon. I had a good time playing even if it wasn’t planned. We should do this again sometime, yeah?” Clarke nods, pulling her phone from her pocket. Punching in their number, they do the same for her before returning the device to their shorts. 

“Well, this is goodnight Lex. I had a nice evening too. Thank you for not running. I know we seem to be a bit different then most people and I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Trust me, if things were weird or uncomfortable for me, I would’ve told you.”

“Good. Cool. Okay, well. I’ll see you around?” Her voice gives away the hopefulness in the question.

“Of course, feel free to text me whenever.” They move in to kiss her cheek but backtrack quickly hoping she didn’t notice the faltering step. “Okay, goodnight Clarke.” They turn on their heel and make their way back to the truck.

“Lex, wait!” Turning around they see her rush towards them. Their arms catch her easily as she reaches them. Her hands cup their face as their lips meet. Soft, sweet, a pleasant mixture of powerade and hmm maybe vanilla? Who are they kidding? She tastes like home.


End file.
